As parents, we naturally compare our children to other children. Their shortcomings, advantages, height, abilites; everything. One of these constant comparisons for me was The Boy's speech issues. He didn't speak until almost three years of age, and I would compulsively revel in other children's ability to say Mama, Daddy, and all the other things a toddler will babble. I would cry night after night convinced he had some sort of brain damage from my Coca Cola binges when I was pregnant. And, my super supportive family and circle of friends (sarcasm noted) would say, "you just wait, he'll be fine and then you'll be telling him to shut up." Gasp! I thought, never! I thought to myself, I can't wait to hear his tiny voice and I will never tired of it.....until today.
The day he uttered Mom and Daddy was the day I'll never forget. But, its insertion into my hippocampus was merely not enough to make a lasting impression, because as times goes on that moment gets less and less cute. It's now a start date to the look inside the tiny, crazy mind of my four year old. The four year old who now says things like: Can I sleep in your bed? Can I watch Mamma Mia again? Why doesn't The Girl have a penis? The list goes on.
It's also the start date to a huge world of gibberish, constant mouth movement, and just noise. Yes, it's cute when he spouts off all 44 presidents, but it's not cute when he's screaming, "I don't like you anymore" in the middle of the library (see Thelma and Louise Post.)
Now, this next moment in time is what sealed the deal. I've seen this tactic used by children many, many times. And when I'd witness it, I'd think to myself...I would smack that kid, take his animal crackers, and munch on them in front of him. That will never happen to me! Then, it happened. "Mom, Mom, Mommy, Moooommmmmm, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mama, MOM, MOMMY,Mom, Mom, Mom, Mommy, Moooommmmmm, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mama, MOM, MOMMY,Mom" What happened next, well in historical documents it will say I politley turned to him and asked, 'What is it honey dumpling?" However, it was much different. Something in my brain snapped, litterally, I heard it. And I shouted, ever so slightly, "WWWWWHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAT DO YOU WWWWWAAAAAANNNNNNTTTTT????"
My voice was not only at a screeching, deafening level, but apparently my face must have been disgustingly distorted; because he looked at me with a fear and wonderment as he'd never before. Then he uttered, in a low, soft voice; as if a dove was cooing in my ear..."I Love You." Gooey Gooey Melting stuff was pouring over my cold heart. And I thought, I will never, ever yell at this child again. That lasted four minutes.
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