M-I-C-K-E-Y

And not, 'Oh Mickey you're So Fine', but Mickey as in the Mouse. I was wondering; what state would our society be in if Mickey ruled the world. I'm pretty sure it wouldn't be all cupcakes and rainbows, because the rodent ruled land I'm envisioning is one filled with hoplesness and despair. This is not the happy-go-lucky mouse you are used to, but a mouse who rules with an iron fist under that giant white glove. The power would immediately go to his head, he'd have Minnie sold to the human traffic trade, Pluto turned into your next moo-goo gai pan, and Donald would have to wear pants. Oh, the hummanity! The human race would know how to count only to 10 and would have to use the supplied mouseketools to solve problems. Rather than the usual fishing pole, step ladder, and gold coins that his viewers are used to; the three mouseketools would be a scorpion, bull testicles, and an ice pick. It's some cruel version of fear factor and in this horrible, backwards Mouse Land; Joe Rogan would still be host and we would still hate him. Guantanamo would re-open and be an added attraction to Walt Disney World; located in Torture Land, which is right between Meth Land and Your Sister is now a Whore Land, or for you South-Siders; Comiskey. (Ah, thank you; I'll be here all night...tip your waitresses) The prefered form of torture will be to have your eyes pinned open, A Clockwork Orange style, and ride "It's a Small World" over and over. I'd take water boarding over that anyday; who's with me? And lastly, after many unsuccessful assasination attempts, his rule will reign supreme and addmission to Disney will be one gazillion dollars and your first born son. Much like it is now. Who's the leader of the club that's made for you and me? Well, right now, Mussolini's lookin' pretty good.